mood: relaxed

Many many thanks to all of you who made it out to my business launch!

I had such a good time, and from all the laughing and carrying on, it seems like all of you did too!  Thank you so much for making it a successful evening!  I  know you will all be pleased with your purchases (especially you Miss Steals Things <3 <3 <3 hahahaha)!  Feel free to give me a call if you end up having ANY questions (about Arbonne.  I mean, I'm smart and all, but I'm limited) or concerns.  Or if you want to call and go "OMG I LOVE IT!"

Can't wait to see you all again.  I also had a mini funeral for all your banana buddies, so they're resting in peace. :)

Love love.

http://www.cnn.com/2008/WORLD/asiapcf/05/12/china.quake/index.html

I know you weren't at the heart of it all, but you felt it, and I hope you're safe, Ryan of the ryryforsale variety! 

I completely spaced on my 7TH ANNIVERSARY of LiveJournal.

Date created:

2001-04-16 22:34:28

I'm old skool.

mood: indescribable

...it never gets easier.

Frank has a best friend named John.  Most of you have met him, some of you haven't.  The Rave Cave crew needs to meet him 'cause he's good peeps.  He's definitely a good person to have in your corner; always willing to help out where he can, even if he's uber difficult to get ahold of sometimes.  haha

His mom was diagnosed with advanced brain and lung cancer back in September.  They decided that instead of operating, she would do chemo to prolong her life a little bit.  Well, the chemo didn't work, and things progressively got worse.  John and I talked a few times, and he would say things like, "She says she can tell she's dying.  She says that there are certain things that she just can't feel anymore emotion-wise".  

After they stopped chemo things went downhill fast.  She couldn't walk anymore, so they had hospice come and help set up the house so she could be comfortable.  Hospital bed in the living room, a pharmacy of pill bottles in the kitchen, etc.  John and his brother Mike came over on Monday and while I was watering my salsa garden, Mike was telling me that Linda hadn't spoken since Friday.  She was moaning a lot and her breathing sounded forced.  I just let him talk, because I remember very clearly the things I went through and how all I'd ever wanted was someone to listen, and he said that he wouldn't be surprised if she was gone that night or if it happened two weeks from now.  I told him that I thought she was even still holding on because she was worried they wouldn't be ok.

Last night Frank and I decided against heading out to see Ferry Corsten.  He wasn't feeling well, and I just didn't want to mess with the whole downtown thing on a weeknight.  We went to Texas Roadhouse.  Our plan was to get drunk there, then go home and take the Vicodin we had.  Possibly drink some of the syrup.  We were feeling down...very out of the ordinary that we're both "meh".  Usually it's just one or the other.

We were at Roadhouse and got big drinks and ordered some meeeeeeeeeeeeeat.  Talking about how this was where we went on one of our first dates and "can you believe it's been almost a year already? Feels like FOREVER!" hahaha.   We had just finished our salads and were waiting for the yums.  

Then something came over me.  I reached into my purse and grabbed my phone.  When I pulled it out, it started buzzing, letting me know I had a text message.

It was from John.

"Mom just passed..."

...I sat there for a couple of seconds trying to fight back tears.  I showed Frank the text, handed him my phone and told him to go call John.  I flagged our waitress down and asked her, through tears, to please box up our dinner as quickly as she could.

It took us a bit before we were able to get in touch with John, but when we did he gave us the OK to go over there.

Now, I've experienced a lot of death in my day, as many of you are well aware.  I had mentally prepared myself for what we were going to be walking into when his dad opened the door.  At least, I thought I was.  I only met her once.  Before the diagnosis.  No one even knew she was sick at that point.  She met us at the door and said, "FRANK! Hi!  Who's this?  Are you guys hungry?  Thirsty?"  Just a really friendly, but I could tell stern, woman.  The woman in the hospice bed in John's living room was not Linda.  :(  I don't even want to describe her, because it's already going to be burned in my mind forever.  It just floored me how vicious cancer really is.  How it steals everything that makes you you with no regard.

John's not doing well.  Last night he had an entire Xanax that he washed down with a couple of beers.  When I showed up, he had a handful of them.  I know that I definitely would have wanted to not feel for the evening, but I probably would've only had 1/4...maybe 1/2, just to take the edge off.  But I also wasn't holding my dad's hand when he died the way John was, so there's really no telling how I would react.

Anyway, that's what's going on.  We got an invite to go to Storm's tonight, and I could definitely use the laughter, but I don't know what the plan is this evening.  This woman was a second mother to Frank, so he's grieving as well.  Hopefully I can talk both of them into coming over, because if there's one thing that's helped me through ALL the bad times, it's SLRMG (we have to come up with a new acronym).  

Please.  Light a candle, send a prayer, send healing vibes...whatever it is  you do.  This is a family that could use them more than ever today. <3

mood: amused

http://www.koin.com/content/news/topstories/story.aspx?content_id=c8cdd7ec-23d8-4c3d-8dfd-b3d4851101a4

GIRL'S WEEKEND @ my place March 28 - 30.  

Please to be texting me your email addresses if you're interested so I can get an Evite going.

Trust me when I tell you it will be good times.

But everyone has to leave that Sunday at like...1 'cause I have to get ready for Sid and Buffy's wedding. :)

Deets to follow.  


TEXT ME EMAIL ADDYS.

mood: infuriated

Yes, I deleted you.  You have once again proven (proved?) my point about people not changing.

Fuck you for the years of lies to my friend.
Fuck you for the whiny messages about how you were really changing and thanks for being your friend emails and messages.
Fuck you for making me think that you might actually give a shit about someone other than yourself.
Fuck you for thinking that it's ok to lie to people as long as you don't get caught.
Fuck you for continuing to lie to her.

Just.  Fuck. You. 

mood: irritated

Come on Friday....

I'm probably the worst friend ever.  I saw that Marcus called and when I tried to call back, for whatever reason it wouldn't connect.  MY guess is the fact that he has a 9 in his number.  Which is weird, 'cause normally if the number's programmed, it'll work.  I tried calling you yesterday Storm-o, and never got a voicemail or anything.  WHY DOES MY PHONE HATE AMERICA!?  My drive home from work Friday was treacherous.  Ice patches, water freezing on my windshield.  Awful.  So we ended up staying in.  I'm still a little paranoid about leaving your house in the dark.  ATTACK OF THE KILLER DEER, B!  haha.  I'm sure I'll get over it soon, and I'll definitely make it up to you. <3  I hope the party was fun.

Yesterday we went to Temple and Aubrey did my hair ("Of course I remember Storm! He always had fun hair!") and it's AWESOME!!!!  I'm so happy with it.  Frank was supposed to get a massage to aleviate some of the boredom of watching me get my hair did, but Angie was running a fever (her 3rd day of it) and Aubrey said "Keep your ass at home".  But he was very patient and very awesome. <3  Best boyfriend ever.  Not sure if I've mentioned that or not.

Got back in to town and hung out with John and Cindy for a bit before going to see "Cloverfield".  GO SEE THIS MOVIE IN THE THEATER.  Yes, movies are expensive.  This one is worth every single penny you're going to spend; gas, ticket, drinks/popcorn or food if you go to the Drafthouse.  GO GO GO GO GO.

Frank's still sleeping so we'll probably be heading over to his dad's when he gets up.